Japan


6
Sep 08

Hospital Festival in Front of Our House

Right across the street from our house is a mental hospital, and since we are its closest neighbors, we decided to pop across the street to their summer festival. There were more people than we expected. Half the neighborhood came along to join the families of the patients.

I had to switch into genki teacher-mode when a bunch of my kindergarten children spotted me. Fortunately, with Rikuto squirming in my arms, I was able to avoid any unwanted kanchos.

We all lined up in front of the hospital, which has its windows all barred up to keep the patients from “escaping”. The guys on the roof were setting up the fireworks for later.

Most of the patients were already in their seats and watching the evening’s festivities.

There were a few fun games to keep people entertained. Here’s the ever popular baseball pitching game.

And food and drink stalls.

Unfortunately, not all the patients were content with sitting down and watching everybody else. I was quickly greeted by one gentlemen who wouldn’t leave me alone. I couldn’t understand much of his Japanese, and he certainly couldn’t understand my responses. He was fascinated by my foreign-ness and waffled on about “igirisu-go” (”Britain” language), and whether English people could understand each other with their hearts.

Moving from stall to stall, still with Rikuto squirming in my arms, this curious patient kept following, talking, and was becoming frustrated that I couldn’t understand him. It was a shame, but both Mami and I agreed that we had no choice but to head home, just 30 minutes after arriving.

Of course, going home was no big deal since we literally live across the street. Don’t believe me? I took this photo from my office window.

I know it’s not the best of views, but until this summer, the building was hidden by trees. When they came to cut back the branches, they went a bit overboard! So, at our request, they covered their windows with blinds to stop the patients peering across the street into our living room!

Anyway, we finished the evening by watching the fireworks out the window before Rikuto fell asleep on his big pink futon.


5
Sep 08

Daily J Solutions for Lazy J-Bloggers

When I saw Tori’s blog post “A lazy J-blogger’s hack“, I couldn’t help but laugh out loud.

If an audience of “Japan bloggers” wasn’t unique enough, Tori has aimed his latest article directly at lazy Japan bloggers. Both my wife and my mother would say I’m the perfect example of a lazy Japan blogger, but I would have to argue that I’m not this lazy…

Soon we will be looking at 2009 and you will have to update the little copyright date on your blog…. look for the copyright year. Replace the copyright year with…

Tori then gives us a computer programmer’s solution to save us from changing that last digit in the date by hand. Brilliant!

But wait, there’s more! While I’m poking fun at Tori’s overzealous use of time-saving technobabble, I’ve just noticed the date in my own blog’s footer…

Maybe I am that lazy after all! :oops:

Update: I’ve implemented Tori’s suggestion to update my date automatically after all!


31
Aug 08

A Mosquito Bit My Lip!

I don’t know if it’s quite right to say it bit my lip, because it actually stabbed me with its long pointy nose, but either way, this mosquito got me good…

I did eventually track it down and it paid dearly for giving me a frenchie in my sleep.


26
Aug 08

The Giant Ice Cream That Really Wasn’t

My wife gave me a choice of ice cream recently. I can’t remember the name of the other one, but as soon as I heard “giant cone”, I knew that’s what I wanted…

Unfortunately, like all the other small things in Japan, this was no exception…

Bear in mind that bottle of coke is just 350ml!


9
Aug 08

New Narita Express Coming 2009

I came to Japan in July 1997, arriving at Narita airport late in the afternoon, with the intention of getting to Nagoya by nightfall. The first challenge was to get to Tokyo so I could somehow board a Shinkansen bullet train and head west.

The NEX welcomes you to Tokyo

With signs in English, it wasn’t too hard getting a ticket and boarding the Tokyo-bound Narita Express. Although I was looking forward to riding the Shinkansen, I hadn’t given much thought to the train that would take me from the airport to the capital. Even in 1997, trains in my part of the U.K were rather primitive, so old, in fact, that to get off the train, you had to pull down the window, reach out and open the door from the outside! Not the Narita Express.

The N’EX was ever-so high tech, it had sliding doors, air conditioning, room to put your luggage, a map with flashing lights to show you where you were, and a news ticker streaming the latest world affairs. Peering out the window as I hurtled along at speeds that couldn’t explain the smoothness and quietness of the ride, I remember seeing pictures on the tunnel walls made of colorful little lights. The Narita Express tilted to its side as it weaved its way through the increasing number of buildings on its approach to Tokyo.

An even better welcome with the new N’EX

The Narita Express that whisked me into Tokyo on my first day in Japan is 17-years-old this year, and while that would probably be considered “new” in England, the Japanese are ready to retire the N’EX 253 series, and roll out an even flashier model in autumn, 2009.

The E259 series brings a number of improvements. There will be improved safety features, security cameras, and even lockers in the cargo area so someone whose luggage was left in Rome won’t be tempted to steal your suitcase. Other changes include more spacious “green” cars for first class passengers, toilet facilities with wheelchair access, better bilingual guidance and an even smoother and quieter ride, despite speeds of up to 130 km/hour.

Making a good first impression

Since the theme of this month’s Japan Blog Matsuri is “First Impressions of Tokyo“, I couldn’t think of a better first impression than that offered by Japan Rail’s Narita Express. Whether you ride the new or the old N’EX, I hope its an experience you’ll remember long after you step off the train and enter Tokyo station – another unforgettable experience, if a little less welcoming.


1
Aug 08

Taking a Stool Sample in Japan

Please excuse the crassness of this post, but I feel it is my duty to pass on my experience of taking a stool sample to other unfortunate foreigners in Japan who find themselves in the same position.

“Behind” the scenes

The other day I went for a health check. This was something I wanted to do since I hadn’t had a medical for such a long time, and I’m getting old… I’m in my thirties!

They weighed me and measured my height. They made me drink barium and took both chest and stomach x-rays. They ran a few tests, took a blood sample and also needed a urine sample – which, having not eaten or drank since the night before, was exceedingly difficult to provide. I was in the washroom for about half an hour and even managed a number two before I was finally able to provide some number one.

Instructions for taking a stool sample

Because of the barium (a milkshake type drink which I quite enjoyed), I was told to wait a few days before taking a stool sample. Barium turns poo white, and I had to wait until I could provide a more natural colored sample.

Taking a stool sample is much more complicated than you would imagine. Fortunately, the clinic provides instructions with a picture for each step of the poo-scooping process:

A plop-by-plop account of my experience

I have a western-style toilet, so that makes things a bit tricky. First, I laid toilet paper all over the basin to catch the poo. Second, following the picture in the instructions above, I pulled my shorts down to my ankles and sat down facing the opposite way to how you normally sit when you relieve yourself of your dinner.

PROBLEM: Since my shorts were round my ankles, they wrapped around the base of the toilet, preventing me from sitting forward enough and putting me in danger of releasing my stool on the toilet seat.

SOLUTION: I removed all garments from below the waist completely.

The actual activity of stool production is one I have mastered through the years and this particular specimen was well formed and would be perfect for use as a sample… or so I thought.

PROBLEM: Having relieved myself, and avoiding the toilet seat in the process, I went through the usual cleansing routine, however realised that since I had covered the basin with toilet paper, I had nowhere to dispose of the soiled paper in my hand.

SOLUTION: Without the hindrance of any pants, that might otherwise trip me, I trotted downstairs to our other toilet and finshed the cleaning and flushing process there.

With my clothes back on, I was now ready to take the sample. So while the washroom became increasingly smelly, I followed the instructions and tried to swish the stick through the stool, forwards, backwards, and to the side.

PROBLEM: This was one turgid turd, and any attempt to “swish” it only helped it slide down the side of the toilet and into the water.

SOLUTION: Stabbing the stool with the stick, I was able to prevent it from a watery doom, but only momentarily. When I removed the stick, the stool continued it’s journey and was lost, wrapped in toilet paper in the murky depths of our stained toilet. Fortunately, the stick was now covered in faeces.

PROBLEM: Way too much faeces, with no clear way to reduce the load.

SOLUTION: A vigorous shake sent most of it to the other side of the paper-laden bowl, but…

PROBLEM: …there was still a bit more stool on my stick than the example in the provided instructions. Stroking it on toilet paper only caused the paper to stick to the poo on the stick.

SOLUTION: With a clean sheet of toilet paper, I separated the stick from the paper…

PROBLEM: …but in doing so, I removed most of the sample I had collected.

SOLUTION: I eventually salvaged some stool from the previously flung dollop stuck to the other side of the bowl, but…

PROBLEM: …in the process managed to attract a stray pubic hair to the end of the stick.

SOLUTION: At this point, I felt I had developed enough of a relationship with my stool to use my own fingers to pluck off the pube.

Conclusion

Completion of the stool sample process involved returning downstairs with a stick of poo in hand to show my wife, seeking confirmation that I had indeed gathered enough to satisfy the clinic (my wife is a nurse so she’s somewhat of an expert in this field). Given the green light, I popped the stick in its tube, being careful not to get poo on the rim.

Finally, I put it in the fridge alongside the cheese and fresh vegetables… and went upstairs to flush the toilet.

Only one more sample left to go.


27
Jul 08

Japan’s Top 20 “Reform” Wishlist

When a typical Japanese house reaches 30 years of age, it’s considered dangerous and likely to fall down. I think this is more of a myth than reality, but it’s a common belief that has led to a huge industry of “reform”.

This holds particular interest for me because I live in one of those houses and there are only 12 years left before it supposedly implodes!

Here, I count down the top 20 most desired “reforms” according to a rather dated Japanese Goo ranking.

20. Waterproofing

If you live in a wooden house, the last thing you want is water getting in. Painting the walls and fixing leaks in the roof is the 20th most desired “reform” in Japan.

19. Roof

Fix the leaks, replace the tiles, heck, just replace the entire roof!

18. No more steps

Replacing steps with slopes and making other changes to accommodate the elderly ranks at #18.

17. Outer walls

Instead of painting the walls, you can choose a nice design and stick news walls over your old walls! Apparently they hold all kinds of benefits such as retaining warmth, no cracking, no leaking, and they look pretty, too.

16. Lighting equipment

Brighten up the place with some fancy new lights!

15. The garden

Considering how few people have gardens of any significant size, it may be surprising to find “garden” at number 15 on the list of most desired “reforms”.

14. Sash fixtures

These are the fixtures that hold window panes in place. I’d never even thought about it before, but they must be popular!

13. Living room

The Japanese “living” is the most used room in the house. Who wouldn’t want to dress it up a bit?

12. Change the locks

Fear of intruders has encouraged the Japanese population to change their locks. Security has been almost non-existent in Japanese homes until recently, but that’s all changing now.

11. Floors

Renovating your floors, and under them, can help combat termite infestation, improve ventilation, and even offer secret storage space!

10. Interior

Fancy a spot of decorating? I think this means completely renewing the furniture, carpets, curtains and all the rest of it.

9. Heating and cooling

Install a full air-conditioning ventilation system, improve insulation, or just buying some thicker windows. Whatever you do, your home should be warmer in the winter and cooler in the summer… in theory.

8. Earthquake protection

Perhaps not surprisingly in a country with more earthquakes than the rest of the world put together, making your house earthquake-resistant is a top priority for many people.

7. “All Denka”

This is a popular new option for home owners, and I suspect it would rank much higher than #7 if the survey was taken today. “All Denka” means converting your house to run solely from electricity. This is something I plan to do, but I’ll be going for the solar powered option when it becomes more affordable.

6. Sound insulation

The walls in Japanese houses are paper thin, so it’s no surprise that soundproofiing is high on the “reform” list.

5. Layout

Changing the layout of you house pretty much means rebuilding it on the inside, leaving just the outer shell in its original state. You see this a fair bit on that TV show where a construction crew come and reform someone’s house on a shoestring budget.

4. Toilet

There are still a lot of old homes with a Japanese-style one, but even those with a western-style toilet might want to upgrade to one of the latest auto-flushing, bum-washing, perfume-spaying, remotely controlled, super computers toilets.

3. Washbasin

The high ranking for a washbasin “reform” must be partly due to its price. A fancy Japanese washbasin is really a vanity unit -  a wardrobe-high unit that includes a sink, mirror, cabinets, toothbrush rack, plug sockets and lighting. The word “reform” is associated with expensive, but these washbasins are an exception to the rule.

2. Kitchen

Every Japanese housewife’s dream is to have an “all-denka system kitchen”. If you believe the advertising, this is a kitchen that is all electric, space-saving, self-cleaning, with an auto-refilling fridge. Okay, not quite, but it gets pretty close.

1. Bathroom

At the top of the reform wishlist is the bathroom. I can only assume this is because of all the mold that builds up if you don’t clean the walls thoroughly. It must be something to do with Japan’s climate because mold gets between all the tiles and getting rid of it is the obsession of every housewife.

Those are the twenty most desired home “reforms” in Japan. What would you like to “reform” most in your home?


10
Jul 08

New Earthquake Emergency Shelters

Earlier this year, Mike McKinlay and I went to to the Gifu Prefecture Regional Disaster Management Center to try out the earthquake simulator. Being the only visitors all day (and introducing ourselves as big-time Canadian bloggers), the staff treated us like royalty! We were given a personal tour of the facility and they even filmed us trembling like little girls on the simulator.

A ground-shaking experience

The Earthquake simulator! The earthquake simulator, which went up to the maximum Shindo 7, was quite an experience. Japan’s Shindo is a measurement of intensity at a given location, whereas the Richter scale used in the West measures magnitude of an earthquake at its epicenter. Mike will be posting the videos on his own blog soon, along with his lame attempts to escape a burning house rocked by an earthquake in a virtual reality game. Update: Here’s Mike’s post.

The 150,000 yen cardboard box

On our tour of the management disaster center, we were shown the latest and greatest in modern emergency shelters – a cardboard box puzzle house called the Octagon.

Although there’s no mention of price on the manufacturer’s website, we were told you can buy this fantastic new solution to short-term housing problems for 150,000 yen. I asked whether the management disaster staff had already bought one for their own families, but they admitted the price was too high and should an earthquake occur they’d come down to the center to borrow one! I told them I quite understood, and that I would be racing here for my own cardboard house so they better be quick!

They then proceeded to talk us through the construction of the Octagon…

Emergency Shelter

STEP 1 – Grab your cardboard box puzzle house

There are two boxes weighing 41 kilograms each. The instructions recommend two people carry each box.

Step 1

STEP 2 – Find a somewhere to put it

You’ll need a 6m x 6m area, preferably flat, before you can build your new “compact house”.

Step 2

STEP 3 – Slot the panels together

For a nation that grew up with origami, putting this thing together is a doddle.

Step 3

STEP 4 – Put the roof on

You don’t need any special tools, just tape the roof on and you’re done. If there are three of you, you’ll have the house finished in about three hours.

Step 4

STEP 5 – Move the house

Now that the house is finished you can move it… quite how I’m not too sure. Like the guys in the instructions it might be best to just leave it where you built it.

Step 5

STEP 6 – Make a floor

If you flatten out the cases that contained the puzzle, you should have enough cardboard to cover the floor. It’s the equivalent of 6.5 tatami mats which is a reasonable size to live in.

Step 6

STEP 7 – Walk around inside

This critical step involves walking around inside the “tent” so you familiarize yourself with the height and don’t bump your head on the cardboard. The lowest part of the ceiling is 1.5m, and the highest is 2.2m, high enough for even Mike to stand up straight in. Apparently, there’s room for a family of five in this cardboard house, which sounds like a very tight squeeze to me.

Step 7

STEP 8 – Waterproof it!

The final step involves covering the house with waterproof sheets. With care, the cardboard tent will last six months, but you’re advised not to use it in heavy rainfall or strong winds (not that you’d have much choice). They do encourage you to cut out some windows, and when you’re finished, you can recycle the whole house!

Step 8

Stop by for a cuppa tea

The emergency cardboard puzzle house is awesome, just like camping in a tent. Mike and I had a cup of tea and wondered how much cheaper an actual tent would be…

Nick in a cardboard tent

Mike in a cardboard tent

Preparing for the big one

If you are worried about the big earthquake which is supposed to be coming sometime in the next 10,000 years, do yourself a favor and buy a cardboard box puzzle house! If you can read Japanese, go to Sago Mokuzai for more information. There’s also a FAQ worth reading. One question asks whether the Octagon comes with a toilet, and while I was hoping for a more creative answer involving constructing a toilet out of leftover cardboard, the answer is an honest, “No, it doesn’t come with a toilet”.

If you fancy riding the Shindo-7 earthquake simulator, find one in your area here (Japanese).


17
Jun 08

I Love Commercials Commercial!

Last year a I wrote a series about Japanese manners, each with a video of an AC commercial that broadcast nationwide, teaching Japan’s public to be a little more considerate to each other. I thought those commercials were brilliant, kind of like drink driving commercials back home, but these were about topics as frightening as eating hamburgers on a train.

I Love CM

I’m all for encouraging people to talk to their neighbors, as was done in one of those AC commercials, but this latest “CM” is going a bit too far. Now they are actually encouraging you to watch TV commercials! Watch this video to see what I mean (or jump directly to YouTube).

I have to admit it’s one of my favorite commercials, not least because of its very catchy tune. The question is, though, will an advertising campaign like this work? Will people start to watch the commercials more, and then actually buy the products being advertised?

Of course! When you repeat something enough times, it becomes true, so singing “I love commercials” to yourself all day will subconsciously make you believe you really love commercials. It must work because I’ve been glued to the TV for the last few days. I might have to change the lyrics to “I love changing diapers” or “I love Akihiro Miwa” if I’m going overcome the things I fear most.


20
May 08

Japanese Mothers with Big Cars

Last autumn there was a good drama on TV called Abarenbo Mama. One of the key storylines was how the young stepmother, Ayu, would get along with the other mothers at her son’s kindergarten. Although it was a comedy, “mama groups” really do exist in Japan, and mothers go out of the way to fit into these groups.

That means they have to share the same interests, opinions, fashion sense, attitude to their husbands, goals for their children, and anything else required to keep the status quo.

Got a small child? Get a big car!

Over the last few years, one of the more eye-catching similarities between mothers of young children is their need for a big car. They are supposed to be family sized, but I’m sure you could get half a sumo stable in these so-called “mini” vans.

It’s not the best photo, but you can see how the mothers at my local kindergarten all have 5-door hatchbacks off a grayscale palette.

Mama Group Mini Vans

I really don’t understand why small children need such large cars? These days it’s rare for a family to have more than two children, but even our little pink ‘n’ gay Lapin is big enough for two adults, two children and a push chair.

Maybe it’s a case of keepin’ up with Joneses, but it could also have something to do with the culture of husbands giving their monthly paychecks to their wives, and getting some pocket money in return. Perhaps these mamas have bought themselves big “mini” vans, while they let their husbands drive around in one of these:

Japanese Salaryman\'s Car


9
May 08

Japan Disaster Prevention Information

To help you understand the point of this post, I’ve recorded a little video of the view from my bedroom window. You’ll need to watch the video before I delve into the topic of “disaster prevention information” in Japan.

My peaceful neighborhood in Japan

If you can’t view the video, you can watch it here on YouTube.

What was that and why should I care?

What you just saw was, in my opinion, an abuse of the Disaster Prevention Radio system set up by the Japan government’s Fire and Disaster Management Agency (FDMA).

The Ministry of Internal Affairs and Communications describes the radio system as such:

The disaster radio systems built by the national and local governments are based on the experience gained in past disasters. The purpose of the radio systems is to secure a means to collect and transmit disaster information in the times of emergency.

That is echoed by Tokyo’s Toshima City officials who state on their website…

With the goal of relaying accurate information related to disasters in a speedy manner, there are public announcement radio systems (loudspeakers) set in elementary and junior high schools and public parks.

Indeed, the disaster prevention communication network is quite extravagant:

Japan Disaster Prevention Network

An abuse of the system?

I’m fine with having such a network of loudspeakers dotted across the landscape if they are used for their intended purpose, that is to relay disaster information. However, as you saw in the video, playing a daily song so children know when to go home is a bit much for me, particularly when it frightens the life out of Rikuto, triggering another session of tears.

Still, Mami thinks I’m overreacting and she’s probably right. After all, this is a country that likes to be told what to do, and I don’t see anyone else complaining.

Japanese public loudspeaker

A little more imagination

If we must sit through a minute of music every afternoon, why not spruce things up a bit? Let’s have a different song every day, and throw in some vocals so we can sing along! Why not let the locals call a DJ at City Hall and make requests? Do you think they’d play Chorus Water? Perhaps local government could lower taxes, replacing the lost revenue with company sponsorship: “Today’s 5 o’clock jingle is brought to you by Morinaga Milk”.

Do these announcements annoy you, too? How else could this elaborate network of loudspeakers be used?


6
May 08

Ramsay Ramblings 5/6/2008

There are lots of little things to talk about this week, so here’s another dose of Ramsay Ramblings!

May 5th was Children’s Day

Mami and I have a little boy, and this year was his first Children’s Day. Thomas wrote all about Koinobori, Japanese Carp Streamers, so I’ll skip the detail and get to the photos:

Japanese Carp Streamers - Koinobori

Our Koinobori – Japanese Carp Streamers

Children\'s Day Kintarou Cake

A Kintarou cake

Mochi rice cakes wrapped in kashiwa

Kawashi-mochi - rice cakes wrapped in oak leaves

Rikuto enjoying his first Children\'s Day

Rikuto celebrates his first Children’s Day at the park

Those bloomin’ berks at Bloomberg published the suicide gas recipe

Of all the dumb things I’ve seen, Bloomberg published the “recipe” to the poisonous concoction of household cleaning chemicals that people have been using to kill themselves in Japan lately. Shane kicked up a storm and we all pitched in. In the end, Bloomberg edited the dangerous parts of the article, so hooray for us! :-D

Making a start on WritingWorkbooks.com

I had a good response to the post about my dot com lifestyle, and was encouraged to talk more about what I do for a living. It seems I’ve inspired a few people to earn some money online, including my mum, so I’ve started some behind-the-scenes work on a joint project with her, taking advantage of her experience as a primary school teacher.

The idea is to make a large number of handwriting practice workbooks for children, each book based on an elementary school subject, such as dinosaurs and weather. Each page of each book will have a traceable general knowledge fact about a chosen school subject, and the books will of course be for free.

I already have a website in the “handwriting” niche, so WritingWorkbooks.com should complement it well. My mum is the perfect partner since she knows so much about the curriculum and knows exactly what teachers and parents need for their children.

In picking this topic for a site, I considered:

  1. Do I know enough about the topic? – Including my mum, yes.
  2. Will people find it useful? – My mum thinks so.
  3. Will it cost me anything? – $10 for the domain name. I already have the $100 fonts.
  4. Will it need ongoing work? – Not after it’s finished.
  5. How will I monetize it? – Probably with Adsense. Decide later.

The beauty of a site like this is that it requires no maintenance. A blog always needs new material, but sites like this can be built and left alone. That leaves you free to build more and more. That’s why I don’t worry too much about its earnings potential. Once you’ve got your starting costs back, it’s pure, passive income.

Jason got hitched! Congratulations!

Jason Irwin, has tied the knot. He had a long-distance relationship for nearly two years with his bride-to-be, Reiko, but after a succession of trips between Canada and Japan, they finally live together as husband and wife in the same city as me, Kakamigahara. In a related post, Jason poses the interesting question, is the distinction between the online world and reality fading?

Ramsay, Mark 1 launches into cyberspace

Speaking of online relationships, my brother, Mark, has discovered the internet for the first time. He is a complete newbie, so I’m helping him learn all the basics (left-click, right-click, drag and drop) before he joins me on our joint project, VirtualTripping.com. He’s already taken to the net like a duck to water, managing to watch 652 YouTube videos in his first four days online! It should be fun blogging with him on VT, so swing by and join the Ramsay brothers as we send blog “post” cards from Google Earth.


2
May 08

Baked Beans to Save Japan’s Food Crisis?

This post is an oldie, but I’m submitting it to Rocking in Hakata’s February 2009 Japan Blog Matsuri about Foreign Food. Enjoy!

With food prices soaring, and butter disappearing altogether, there is no doubt that Japan is suffering an unprecedented food crisis.

Learning from the British

At university, balancing the budget to accommodate both food and beer is a skill most Brits have mastered, but it wouldn’t be possible without that staple of the British food industry, baked beans.

Cheap baked beansSupermarket chain, Tesco, is where I used to buy baked beans for as little as 8p (16 yen) a can. I believe you can still find tins of the little beans in tomato sauce for 10p (20 yen). Even a can of the brand name, Heinz Baked Beans, will only set you back 41p (84 yen).

Therefore, I think it’s fair to say that no matter how bad the food crisis gets, the British will prevail due to their willingness to dine on something that would most likely make the Japanese barf.

Poll shows Japanese hate British food

Baked beans on toast9,872 former Japanese exchange students recently took part in a nationwide poll by the Japanese Institute of Food and Agricultural Sciences. Of the respondents who had lived in the UK, a whopping 93.8% rated British food as “bland”, and as “edible as poisoned Chinese gyouza”. The source of this poll has yet to be verified, but I won’t let that get in the way of a good story.

Could baked beans be the answer to Japan’s food crisis?

If Heinz were to sponsor a few Japanese celebrities to try their flagship product on TV, we are guaranteed an orgasmic reaction as the guests scream oishii! and umai! in delight at the orange bean treat. This could lead the way to mass production of the food, and huge eatership numbers among Japan’s soon-to-be-poor population.

If you’ve got the money, why wait?

Heinz baked beansYou don’t have to wait for Japan to accept baked beans as the natural alternative to every other food, you can order a tin of the original, 84 yen Heinz Baked Beans via The Meat Guy for as little as 650 yen with FREE postage and packing! :roll:

Failing that, until Heinz brings to Japan its British operation of 1.5 million cans of baked beans a day, you’ll just have to survive on natto

Thanks to Haikugirl’s search for baked beans for inspiring this post.


21
Apr 08

Chorus Water, Deliciously Entertaining

I opened up our fridge and found a carton of Chorus Water! Yippee! The new Japanese soft drink from Morinaga Milk is the best!

Chorus Water from Morinaga Milk

I’d like to personally thank Chairman of Morinaga Milk, Mr. Ohno, and company president, Mr. Furukawa, for delivering such a tasty beverage. I just can’t stop singing its praises!

If you can’t see the video, you can watch it here on YouTube.


17
Apr 08

The Same Old Questions

No matter how long you are in Japan, you will always be asked the same questions:

  • Where are you from?
  • Do you like Japanese food?
  • Can you use chopsticks?

The more adventurous Japanese will ask you questions about your home country:

  • Is summer as hot as in Japan?
  • Do you have cherry blossoms?
  • Do you speak English in England?

All these questions were recently asked of me by the dental assistant, just before I had my teeth drilled.

I can’t take it anymore!

I understand that because I’m a foreigner, people are interested in where I’m from and what I think of Japan. I am always courteous and answer politely, with a few well-practiced jokes included, but what I really want to say is…

Oh god! Here we go again! Leave me alone already! I don’t care where I’m from, so why do you? Of course I like Japanese food, what do you think I’ve been eating for the last decade? Can I use chopsticks? Yes, and I can spell my own name, too! Hot in summer? Al Gore says it is. Cherry blossoms? Now you’re getting desperate for conversation! English in England? Well, duh!

Now, I don’t mean to be rude, but it just never ends. I could be here when I’m 70 and still be asked the same things. At this stage of my life, I am really put off by these kinds of questions, despite the good intentions of the person asking.

What I’d like people to talk to me about

Normal things. Ask me if I watched that new drama, Hokaben, on Wednesday night. Talk to me about sport, politics, my favorite shopping mall… ask me about my family here and what it’s like being a dad. Ask me about my plans for Golden Week. Let’s chat about the new paper recycling rules, or what they are building by the golf course. Anything but chopsticks, natto, or a country I remember very little about.

Any of you feeling the same way?


9
Apr 08

ID Cards Needed for Cigarette Machines

A cigarette vending machineIf you are in Japan, you have probably already seen the bright yellow notices plastered all over the country’s cigarette vending machines. At first, I thought it was some fancy advertising campaign, but instead, they are announcing the launch of “taspo”, an ID card embedded with an IC (integrated circuit) chip containing information proving the owner is at least 20 years old (the legal age for purchasing cigarettes).

What does it say?

Each notice reads something along the lines of,

To prevent underage smoking, as of June 1st, if you don’t have a taspo card, you won’t be able to buy cigarettes at this machine.

Announcing the start of taspo.

How to get a taspo card

Getting a card looks nearly as troublesome as applying for a passport or an alien registration card! The taspo website is in both English and Japanese, but the application form is in Japanese only. There are very clear English instructions on the site which show you what you need and where to put it. Generally, you need to fill in your name, date of birth, address and phone number. You must write with a black ball pen, and include the katakana version of your name. Your address must be written in Japanese, and everything must match your alien registration card, which you’ll need to provide a readable copy of.

taspo - saving the health of millions of teenagers?

Do the benefits outweigh the hassle?

Well, I don’t think so. If you’re already 20 or over, this is no more than a huge inconvenience. Of course, they try to appeal to the nobler motive of saving the health of our youngsters, but if that were the case, why didn’t they just remove the machines years ago and force you to buy cigarettes over the counter?

Then they try to sell you on the convenience of having a prepaid card that you merely have to swish over the sensor to get your tobacco fix. Big deal.

Is this really a good thing?

Smokers and non-smokers alike will most probably agree that steps taken to prevent youngsters smoking is a good thing. However, I argue that since the number of smokers is decreasing dramatically anyway (source), why is it necessary to introduce ID cards now? Why not let the number of smokers naturally fall instead of messing about with IC chips, forms and photographs?

Could there be an ulterior motive?

First, I would imagine some vending machine companies will profit immensely from replacing or adapting every single cigarette machine in the country. Has this been mentioned in the news?

Second, If I was the head of Japan Tobacco, this would be the perfect opportunity to gather customer data. I don’t know whether those IC chips can record what brand of cigarettes you buy and how often, or whether that data is sent to JT HQ when you charge your card, but they would definitely have all your personal details (and photo) stored on their computers from the application process, and let’s not forget that Japan Tobacco is still half owned by the government, which doesn’t fill me with confidence.

The taspo card seems to be a stepping stone toward the government and associated businesses eventually storing all our personal data and tracking our purchases. How long will it be before we all have one single card (or something built into our cell phones) that tells everything about us; who we are, where we live, what we do, what we buy, and even where we are right now?

You may think those New World Order folks are crazy with their talk of implanting IC chips into all of us, but that seems to be the direction we are heading with today’s “convenient” technology.

Anyway, I haven’t had a cigarette for about nine months, and taspo won’t encourage me to start again! :-P


7
Apr 08

Where I Live, Twenty Years Ago

My little neighborhood here in Japan has pretty much been in existence for twenty years. I came across an old aerial photo of the housing estate on which I live during its construction in 1989.

My part of Kakamigahara City in 1989

You can clearly see the baseball ground there, and there’s a small hospital, too, which still stands today. Beyond that, in Heisei 1, everything had been cleared away to make room for factories and houses. In fact, as you can see from a Google Earth image below of how things look now, large chunks of the mountain were also removed for my wealthy neighbors who bought land at the height of the economic bubble.

My part of Kakamigahara City in approx. 2008

How has your area changed over the last two decades? Wouldn’t it be interesting to find out?


2
Apr 08

What’s Your Favorite Font?

This is probably a really geeky topic, but if we’re honest with ourselves, we all have a favorite font. Maybe it’s the font you use when you write email, or the font you usually pick for a Word document. At some point, we have all chosen a typeface that looks good and feels good. Indeed, your font is a fashion statement for the web.

Vista introduces a new generation of fonts

I brought this up because I’ve been using Word and Excel 2007 a lot recently. It came bundled with my copy of Windows Vista, and today I thought to myself, “Damn, this font is sexy!” I was of course admiring Microsoft’s new Calibri font, one of six new antialiased fonts, set to replace Arial, Courier New, Georgia, Times New Roman, Trebuchet MS, and Verdana, fonts which have dominated the web since their introduction in Windows 95.

Experimenting with Calibri

The six “C” fonts are Calibri, Cambria, Candara, Consolas, Constantia and Corbel, and I’ve chosen to write this post in Calibri. Of course, if you don’t have these fonts installed on your system, you won’t notice the difference between this and my other posts.

Are you a font buff?

I’m not going to get into specifics but you can read more in the article, New Vista Fonts and the Web, and for information on downloading them and installing them on an older Windows OS, read Downloading and Using Vista Web Fonts.

What’s your favorite font?

So, until now, I have been a fan of the simple, but elegant, Verdana font, and I’m also partial to a bit of Arial. What’s your favorite font, and don’t pretend you don’t have one! ;)


1
Apr 08

Rikuto Goes Cherry Blossom Viewing

Mami and I braved the wind to show Ricky some cherry blossoms. Not many of the trees had fully bloomed, and Rikuto wasn’t too impressed, but any excuse for another family video! :)

I do apologize for the music. It originally had a different soundtrack with one of my favorite tunes. I was even going to offer cash prizes to those of you could name the song! Unfortunately, Mami didn’t think it matched the video very well, so she picked… well, you’ll just have to listen for yourself!

If you can’t view the video, you can watch it here on Youtube.


21
Mar 08

The Whirly Whirly Road

You’ve all seen photos of spaghetti junctions and double-decker expressways cutting through urban Japan, but on a recent trip out into the mountains, I came across what can only be described as a “whirly-whirly” road.

The Whirly Whirly Road #1

The purpose of this extravagant helter skelter of a street is to get you high enough to drive over the mountain it perches on. The problem is, it makes you so dizzy you’re quite likely to drive through the railing and hurtle into the trees and rivers below!

The Whirly Whirly Road #2

While you can marvel at the power of creative imagination and extraordinary engineering involved in building this monstrosity, you have to wonder what lies on the other side of the mountain; something so special it warranted spending exuberant amounts of taxpayers’ money on the construction of a road that’s tantamount to a fairground ride.

And then you see it, the treasure at the end of the “whirly whirly” road…

The treasure at the end of the whirly whirly road