Posts Tagged: students


26
Oct 06

Would you pass the chopsticks exam?

In today’s Mainichi News, there was an article about a high school in Nagasaki that will start checking if applicants can use chopsticks properly. The ‘chopsticks test’ will be part of their entrance exams next year.

Officials of Sasebo Women’s High School said that they wound like to see if applicants have acquired the minimum levels of eating manners by checking their use of chopsticks.

The “chopstick inspections,” which include picking up slippery beans, will influence the screening process to a certain degree, officials at the school said.

What a laugh! Imagine not getting accepted because of poor manners at the dinner table! Perhaps there should be ‘knife and fork’ tests in our schools back home. Hmm…somehow I don’t think they’d get public support.

The article reminded me of when I was made to take part in a peanut eating contest at a Toyota Motor Corp party during my homestay. There were games laid on for the employees’ children and I guess they thought it would be funny to pit a foreigner against them. The Japanese generally assume that foreigners can’t use chopsticks so imagine their surprise as I skillfully picked up the peanuts and gobbled them down. The kids were falling behind so the mums stepped in and got me to pose for photos (peanut to mouth) while the kids caught up.

I still finished second and was rewarded with a koro koro, best described as a poor man’s vaccuum cleaner – a sticky tube on a stick.


24
Oct 06

My gullible students!

Yesterday was our Halloween barbeque, which was a lot of fun. One activity we did was set up boxes with pictures of fingers, brains, worms and eyeballs on them. Inside were sausages, prunes, noodles and peeled grapes, and the kids were really quick to figure that out. The adults tend to have a better imagination and pulled some really icky faces when dipping their hands in the boxes.

Two of my students, both in their twenties, can be pretty gullible sometimes. Today in class, they were trying to explain the activity to another student who didn’t come to the barbeque. I jumped in and said:

“Oh, it was so funny, the kids thought they were grapes, noodles and prunes, but actually they really were eyeballs, worms and brains!”

The two girls sat up in horror. Had they really dipped their hands in a box of worms? I pushed it further explaining how we had contacted a farm and got leftover eyeballs and brains sent to us. I told them this with such an honest and serious face, that they truly believed it. It wasn’t until I said the fingers were really fingers that they realized I was joking.

My favorite gullibility test is the “Magic-eye tie”. I have this shiny tie covered in lines of elephants which I explain is like those posters that if you stare at long enough you can see a hidden picture in the center. I’ve done this trick on most of my students and they fall for it every time. It’s hysterical. They just stand their with their eyes wide open staring at the tie. I let them do it for a full two minutes before telling them I’m joking. If you haven’t tried this one before, go and find you most bizarre tie… now!


7
Oct 06

A massage from your teacher

I was looking through some of my old things and found a postcard from the first school I taught at in Japan. When a potential customer had taken a trial lesson, the teacher was supposed to fill in this postcard and it would be sent to that student. I had to shrink the picture a bit for the web, but if you look closely you’ll see a classic mistake.

Thank you for trying a lesson...

 

Okay, let’s zoom in on that…

...here's a massage from your teacher!

 

Yep, this was made by one of the biggest English schools in Japan, a leader in English language education, a company that thousands of people across the nation study at. Apparently they printed thousands of these postcards before anyone noticed the mistake. Of course, they were withdrawn quickly and I doubt if any were actually sent out to students… not that they’d be able to read it anyway.

After they were withdrawn they were used as scrap paper. Who would have thought that this little embarrassment would appear on the internet years later!


3
Oct 06

Is ESL in Japan a big joke?

According to an NHK report in 2000, Japan has the largest commercial English language education market in the world, valued at $20 billion. So, you would expect most Japanese to be fairly proficient in English, right? Wrong! Official TOEIC figures for 1997-1998 showed Japan to have the lowest average score among the 17 countries in which TOEIC test taking is most popular.

As an ESL teacher in Japan, I should consider myself fortunate that people are willing to spend so much money on learning English. I wouldn’t have a job otherwise. That doesn’t mean to say I don’t take pride in teaching my students to speak the language. After all, that is what they are paying for, right? Wrong again, it would seem.

Time and time again, I hear of students frustrated about using the textbook too much in class, or having too much homework, while many simply forget to do their homework completely. Remember that in most ESL schools in Japan, students only take one class a week, so common sense would suggest that if they really wanted to learn English, they would take their lessons seriously and devote some of their free time to self-study.

Okay, fair enough, a lot of adults just study ESL as a hobby. Hey, it’s cool to tell their friends they study English, regardless of whether they are learning anything or not. But how about children? Surely the parents are paying these huge fees so that their sons and daughters can learn English. Well, that’s debatable.

You’ve got two kinds of schools in Japan, the English Conversation eikaiwa schools, and juku, or cram schools. Eikaiwa are where the foreigners like myself teach, while juku are heads down, study, study, study, Japanese teacher-led classes. Although English lessons at juku focus soley on reading and writing English, I always thought that eikaiwa were equally important for learning communication. Now, though, I’m changing my mind…

After disciplining one of my elementary school students for atrocious behaviour, his mother kicked up an enormous fuss.

“This isn’t a school!”, she said. “We don’t pay this money for you to discipline our children! They come here to have fun! If I wanted my child to learn English then I’d send him to juku!”

Well, that knocked me for six.

The next couple of days I walked around shell-shocked. If I’m not supposed to teach English, then what am I here for? Why did I bother studying to be a teacher? Do all the mothers feel this way? Why have I spent the last few years developing a curriculum to teach English, when I should have just pulled out a copy of 101 Great Games for Kids?

I’m starting to come to the conclusion that the boy’s mother is right, and I should not worry about teaching, and just have fun with the kids instead. I mean, from a business point of view, going head-to-head with the grammar and vocabulary-based English curriculum of juku is a no-win situation, as the Japanese will always consider juku as real education. Instead, I think I’ll just go in the opposite direction altogther and play game after game after game, perhaps throwing in a bit of English here and there just to appease the teacher in me. Who knows, maybe the kids will have so much fun, none of them will ever want to go to juku!

As things stand however, until high schools, universities and companies start requiring English communication skills over the ability to read a book and memorize 10,000 words, Japan will continue to produce the most educated yet worst English speakers in Asia.